


it’s time to say it

by punkcowboy



Series: lgbt+ fics [7]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Kinda?, Like, M/M, Missing Scene, Reunion, if Five hadn’t changed the timeline when Klaus managed to conjure Dave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-03-01 02:17:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18790990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkcowboy/pseuds/punkcowboy
Summary: “Dave?”Klaus grinned up from his place on the floor. Granted, it wasn’t the most comfortable position, but Klaus couldn’t care less as he gazed at his long lost lover.Dave grinned right back.-In which Five doesn’t revert the timeline, and Klaus has a conversation with Dave





	it’s time to say it

**Author's Note:**

> Yeek. 
> 
> Warning/s: lot of talk about death, grief/mourning, tiny bit about torture but not much
> 
> I think that’s it?
> 
> Enjoy!!

“ _Dave_?”

Klaus grinned up from his place on the floor. Granted, it wasn’t the most comfortable position, but Klaus couldn’t care less as he gazed at his long lost lover.

Dave grinned right back.

“Took you long enough, ghost boy.”

“Hey! It’s only been a couple days, I had to get into the right... frame of mind.”

“I- Wait a minute,” Dave frowned in confusion, “right frame of mind, what does- were you using again?”

Klaus sighed, “only a little! You’d just died, Dave, I feel like a relapse was inevitable.”

“It’s been years, love, a little relapse doesn’t last decades.”

“Yeah, well, it hasn’t been years for me.”

Dave frowned again. Frankly, Dave had already been frowning far too much in the past couple of minutes for Klaus’ liking, and he wanted to remedy that as soon as possible. That meant getting the difficult stuff over with as quickly and humorously as possible, getting untied, and having a proper reunion. Then Dave would be happy. No more frowning.

Right?

“What do you mean?” he asked now.

“I jumped back to the future! Ha! Fabulous movie! Anyway, yeah, back to good ol’ 2019 as soon as you- well.” Klaus coughed to cover up the way his voice had cracked.

Dave looked him over properly then. Klaus was still wearing his army vest and, although Dave was too, he had the excuse that he was a damn ghost. Klaus- Klaus looked exactly the same as the last time he’d seen him. And although Dave hadn’t properly acknowledged that before, he saw it now. Klaus should be much older by now, but- Damn.

“Shit, honey.”

Klaus sighed, any faux confidence he had dissolving in an instant,

“Yeah,” he muttered, as he let his head slump to hit the floor, “Shit.”

A moment of silence passed between them. Klaus- as much as he loved Dave, Klaus was never content in silence. His neck was also starting to hurt quite a lot. He let a beat, two, three, pass, before lifting his head up again,

“Diego!”

———

It took a while to convince Diego that Klaus did, in fact want to be untied, and not just because he’d given up and wanted to get more drugs, or needed to take a piss.

Diego was trying to be a better brother, but that didn’t mean he trusted Klaus enough yet to take him by his word.

Still, he did untie him in the end, on the condition that Klaus and Dave go to his room to talk- muttering something about how it was the only room in the “whole damn house” that he was certain Klaus hadn’t “stashed any drugs”. Whatever that meant.

“So, catch up time. Yay!” Klaus giggled out, clapping his hands enthusiastically.

Dave chuckled too, “alright, Klaus. What’s happened since I last saw you?”

“Oh, you know, the usual-“ Klaus reclined back onto the bed, getting comfortable before he began to list of events, “time traveled back to the future- I’m never going to stop saying that now, what a handy little phrase!- got in a fight with some veterans, nearly got murdered by those assassins I told you about, stole an ice-cream truck, DROVE an ice-cream truck, nearly murdered those assassins I told you about and ummmm,” Klaus paused to think, before his eyes cleared and he grinned, “oh yeah! Got my favourite brother to tie me to a chair, got sober again -woohoo! I think- and summoned you!”

Dave, to his credit, had no big, dramatic reaction to Klaus’ batshit list of events. Instead he folded his arms and simply replied, “sounds like you’ve been busy then, hun. Don’t see why you need me here, your life sounds eventful enough as it is without a ghost butting in.”

Ah, Klaus loved Dave and his simplicity. A smart man, he had no desire to make things more complicated than they needed to be.

However, mentioning the fact that he was a ghost so casually made Klaus wince.

“Ah, but my love, I’m never too busy for you!” Klaus grinned, trying to hide his involuntary reaction, “besides, you’re the only ghost I DO want around. Aside from Ben of course. Say hi, Ben!”

No reply.

“Guess he’s still upset,” Klaus muttered, mood suddenly far more solemn. Dave frowned.

“Why’s your brother upset?”

“Oh, you remembered! Well done! But it’s nothing to worry your pretty little head about.” Klaus smiled, once again jovial. Although the smile was far harder to keep faking now.

“Anything that’s bothering you, bothers me,” Dave replied smoothly. Before Klaus could make a comment, he continued, “However, that’s not the only thing on your mind, is it?”

Klaus sighed. Serious talk time. He sat up, to try to fit the mood better. Serious talks should not take place whilst someone is reclining in a bed. Even Klaus knew that, for all his general rejection of accepted societal customs.

“I do have something to ask you, and I’m not sure you’re going to like it.”

Dave stood as he had been, steadfast and stable, waiting patiently for Klaus to be ready to say what he wanted to say.

“it’s just. You- you waited so long for me to be able to conjure you, you could’ve moved on, gone off into the clouds or whatever, y’know? I know you would have gotten into heaven, I’ve never met anyone as good as you. I just. I don’t understand why you stayed.”

“Why did you conjure me?” Dave  
answered evenly, tone gentle.

“Because-,” Klaus blew the air out of his nose dramatically, not used to being this sincere for this long, “Because I love you.”

“And so why is it so hard for you to imagine that I could, oh, I dunno, feel the same way?” Dave smiled sadly, and Klaus couldn’t identify even a hint of irony in his words. Not that Klaus had been expecting any. He knew.

“I can, I know you do. I know it. But.” Klaus closed his eyes and let out a long breath, exasperated, “I don’t understand how you can. I’m a mess! A good for nothing junkie.”

“And you managed to get sober, before.”

“Yeah, before. Before you died, Dave. And then I came back here and it all went to shit again because I was weak and I. I missed you and I couldn’t sa-save you and- and I’m so sorry, Dave,” Klaus gasped for breath.

“I’m sorry.” He repeated. Over and over and over, hot tears falling freely down his cheeks.

Dave would have done anything to be able to wipe them away. As it was, all he could do was watch as his lover cried his eyes out, an ache in his chest the whole time.

“Klaus.” He said when he was no longer bawling.

Klaus looked up at him with wide eyes, still hiccuping, but all out of tears. He waited expectantly for Dave to continue.

Dave took a deep breath, “Well, you said something I didn’t like, so I guess it’s my turn now.”

Klaus snorted.

“First of all, you’re not weak,” Klaus snorted, disbelieving, “No, you’re one of the strongest people I know. Which is why I’m going to tell you this,” Dave took a deep breath.

He was silent for a long time, taking a pause for so long Klaus was almost convinced that that had been his whole speech. Eventually, though, he did start to speak again.

“I don’t think you conjured me because you loved me.” Klaus went to interrupt- again- but Dave powered on, “of course you do, I know you do, and I love you as well. But. It’s- my death, it’s still fresh in your mind. Me, I’ve had a lot of years to think about it and, well, I’ve come to the conclusion that what hurt the most, wasn’t the fact that I had died. What stopped me from moving on, stopped me from fully passing through those gates and leaving this world for whatever is supposed to come after, was that I never got to say goodbye. We never got to say goodbye.”

“So. What are you saying?” Klaus said, tone bitter and full of hurt.

“What I’m saying is that. I think you were expecting the wrong thing from this, from summoning me. You wanted to- to try to continue how we were, yeah? Make this work?”

“You don’t know what I was expecting,” Klaus replied, guarded and full of denial, but they both knew Dave was right.

And so, he continued. It hurt, it hurt both of them so much, but it needed to be said and Dave- Dave was always one to do the right thing, even when it hurt. Dave was never a coward.

“We can’t pick up where we left off. We can’t have a relationship, not like this. For goodness sake, Klaus, I’m dead. Just because you can summon me doesn’t mean that we get a free pass. You should be moving on, and this- this would hold you back from growing. No magic powers are going to change that.”

Klaus’ eyes stung, but he refused to cry again. Not now.

“If that’s how you feel,” Klaus said slowly, blinking fast, “then why did you come?”

Dave sighed.

“I wasn’t lying when I told you how much it hurt that we didn’t get to say goodbye. And when I say I love you, that’s not a lie either. I wanted to give us a chance to do it properly. To say goodbye, so we can both move on. I knew you’d come back eventually, so I waited for you to be ready.”

“Ok. Ok.” Klaus stood up. When he stood straight, he was taller than Dave by a good few inches. So why did he still feel so small?

Dave was ready to move on. Klaus wasn’t, not yet. But maybe-

“I love you Dave.”

“I love you too, sugar.”

“I- I miss you. I miss your smile and your laugh, the way you light up when you see me making something warm blossom in my chest. I miss your dumb puns, and your pet names. I miss the way you hold me tight, and the way you dance with me and hold me close and make the world melt away so it’s just us, swaying to whatever. I miss how you hug me and distract me when I’m itching for a hit, and I miss how you always seem to think the best of me, even if I relapse or do something stupid or act like a coward. I miss you so much, and I have missed you. And I- I will miss you because-“ Klaus swallowed,

“You’re right,” he croaked out, “God, you’re always right. This- whatever this would be, it sure as fuck wouldn’t be healthy. We both need to move on. I need to live, and you need to have a fucking brilliant afterlife, like you deserve, you absolute ray of sunshine. I won’t summon you again after this.So I- guess this is goodbye.”

Dave smiled warmly, eyes shining with unshed tears.

“Goodbye, Klaus. Live a good life, for the two of us, yeah?”

“I will. I promise that I will. Goodbye, Dave.”

Klaus sank down onto the bed and buried his face in his hands. When he looked up again, Dave was gone.

This time, Klaus was. Well. He wasn’t OK with it, exactly, but. He knew he would be, in time.

After all, he’d gotten to say goodbye. Maybe it really was time to give this whole “moving on” thing a go.

**Author's Note:**

> :))))
> 
> Thanks for reading, any feedback is much appreciated as always!
> 
>  
> 
> P.S. SORRY
> 
> P.P.S. Kudos if you can guess what song the title is a reference to🌚🌚🌚  
> or just, like, a very enthusiastic reply to your comment bc it’s a song that I like that my friends hate that I like


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